Missionary Dating: A Portion For Disaster
BY TINASHE MUZOREWA
You've just met a guy or maybe have even been dating for years, everything is all fine and dandy except there's just one thing... he's not a Christian. So what! Other than that hes perfect! First off, hes fine! Secondly he treats you like the queen that you are, he's never raised his voice, hes the real life Prince Charming!! Moreover, you've talked to him about your faith and he's even promised to "try out" church with you one Sunday. Okay so that's how you feel about it. Lets turn to how God feels about it.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the Lord tells us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what do the righteous and wicked have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? See its hard to hear this, but the Lords wisdom is greater than our own. 1 Corinthians 1:25 tells us that even the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God stronger than man's strength.
We can therefore, conclude that the Lord knows better than we do. Not to mention, He has had quite some experience being the Ancient of Days (Daniel 7:13) and having dealt with the human race since the beginning of time! Yet there's more! We can also trust that when He commands us to live according to His command, it is with our best interest at heart. For the word of God says that the Lord has plans to prosper us and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11)! He does not say these things for the sake of it, instead, He warns us because He knows the consequences that occur when we do those things. Nevertheless, when the Lord tells us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, He is telling us because He loves us and knows the negative consequences that occur as a result.
What does being unequally yoked mean? It means to be at different levels of faith! So yes even if you are both Christian, if one is "stronger" than another even that too can lead to chaos. The analogy of being unequally yoked is for us to have a tangible representation of what it looks like to be tied with another who is unsaved or not at the same place of faith. A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen together along with the burden they pull. If one ox is stronger or taller than the other, the weight of the burden will become uneven. Pulling becomes heavier on the stronger ox and the task at hand will not be completed or done so efficiently.
The thing is, yes he may seem perfect on the surface but God does not look at the things people look at, for people look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart of a man (1 Samuel 16:7). That means there's more to that man than you on your own can see. But God, however, sees those things that we can't. So there are things in an unequally yolked man, that regardless of how seemingly perfect he is, the Lord does not want us to associate with.
The Lord has raised us up to be seated in heavenly high places (Ephesians 2:6). So if he is unsaved anytime you are together you are having to step down from your heavenly high place to meet him where he is at. Eventually, you will find yourself staying at that place! But you think that if you tell him about Christ he will eventually turn to Him. But it is the Holy Spirit that helps us turn our hearts to Christ not man. Holy Spirit alone, convicts us and leads us to repentance (John 16:8). That means efforts to bring a man to Christ or to make him stronger in Christ are vain.
On top of that you risk only falling in the process! It is harder to bring something up than for it to drop down! From experience, it is emotionally and spiritually draining to try and turn a mans heart to Christ who hasn't made the decision to do so on his own. Turning them to Christ ends up being a mission that consumes you and causes you yourself to spend less and less time with the Lord, thereby, bringing you down!
As aforementioned, nothing can get done when the two ox are unequally yoked. You are at odds with one another. If the guy you are with does not have the same vision of Christ as you, how could you ever fulfill your purpose. And if you're planning on getting married, the word of God tells us that we as women are our husband's helper. But if his heart is not towards the Lord, his goals alike, will not be towards God. Do you want to be a helper of a purpose outside of the will of God?
Moreover, when you are married you become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). But if the Holy Spirit dwells in you but not in your husband how can you become one?
Its clear that to be unequally yoked with a man is not ideal and we are commanded not to be! In addition trying by our own means to get the guy to turn to Christ leads to nowhere. It is not wrong to share the gospel as a friend however, to be closely tied with one who is unequally yoked is wrong. So let us pray for the wisdom and courage to look past the outward appearance of a man and instead look first for the right criteria, that is, to be equally yoked with one another!
Tinashe Muzorewa is a 19 years old girl who aspires to empower sisters in Christ and to encourage them to be who God has called them to be.